Hey, guys. Sometimes I feel the need to go back and update earlier stories for a variety of reasons. Today I’ve done that to a somewhat controversial piece from last year.
50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder
This story came under fire on another website for coming off as racist and anti-China. While the latter was my intention, the former was not. Even so, I believe I was still in the wrong. My goal with the rewrite was to be not disrespectful to Chinese culture while preserving the two main concepts: America’s lust for China, vis a vis Trump’s ass-kissing of Xi Jinping, and his economic resentment toward China. The story is still at its core a bunch of bad sex jokes about morally questionable foreign policy.
To read the revision, click this or the link above. I’d appreciate your thoughts on the changes.
(Read the prologue)
My jaw throbbed and I tasted blood on my tongue. Hair fell into my face when I met China’s steely eyes with a white-hot glare.
“That hurt, you little shit.” Except he was far from little. Nearly my height, he was lean and built like a mannequin in an Abercrombie & Fitch.
Continue reading “MAGA: Let’s Own That Commie Cuck”
Today, Alejandro Cao de Benos is one of the world’s most iconic tankies. Wearing the questionable “special delegate” title and heading the Korean Friendship Alliance (KFA), Cao de Benos’ loyalty to North Korea is as strong as ever. So when he stumbles into another dimension and comes face-to-face with the literal embodiment of his obsession, he falls madly, deeply, and truly in love.
Read on Medium
The world according to Trump’s America
You think North Korea is the only one who gets to tell his story? I’ve read it. It’s absolutely pathetic. I mean, I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be a work of fiction or a New York Times article. Oh, wait, they’re the same thing. And the worst part–let me tell you–is that he makes me looks so bad. #FakeHistory. But I’m a great guy–you know that I’m a great guy. So I’ve decided to set the record straight. You’ll see. You’ll all see.
They say that history is written by the victors, and guess what? I never lose.
“The MAGA Chronicles”
Coming this October
(While you’re waiting, go ahead and read about how America unlocked his final form upon discovering that he’s a hyperpower.)
His head, anyway.
I mix vodka with orange juice and call it breakfast. The alcohol will help me forget that I didn’t sleep last night. Or the night before. Is it nighttime right now? I can’t tell because I never open the curtains because if I do they will watch me and I’m afraid.
Continue reading “A Rare Look Inside of North Korea”
“You know what these boots are made for? Stomping fascists.”
A continuation of this story.
Turns out, the Abominable American wasn’t that hard to outrun. He was pretty slow due to his size, and also kind of lazy. He gave up chase five minutes in, after which he retreated to his lair to partake in material sin and filthiness.
Continue reading “North Korea the Red-Nosed Nation-State: Part II”