50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder

A political pivot results in a steamy encounter.

Trump loves Russia, but did you know that he has deep, undeniable feelings for China too? This is the thrilling, unrelated sequel to 50 Shades of Authoritarianism.


The warm sensation taking over America’s body could have been caused by the wine, the lavender wafting through the air, or the fact that China had just stepped back into the living room wearing only a silk robe.

Continue reading “50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder”

Trump’s First 100 Days: An Endless Stream of Bullshit

Most simply, everything can be broken down into these three categories.

1. Pissed someone off
2. Ruined a friendship
3. Almost started a war

Recently, the 45th president celebrated his first 100 days in office, forcing Fox News to desperately grasp at straws as they try to find achievements for which he could take credit.

Thankfully, I am much smarter than Fox News and will give you my own special 100 days list specifically focusing on the realm of international relations.

Most simply, everything can be broken down into these three categories.

  1. Pissed someone off
  2. Ruined a friendship
  3. Almost started a war

Continue reading “Trump’s First 100 Days: An Endless Stream of Bullshit”

Things are heating up in East Asia!

Hi, friends.

Along with working on, and struggling with, an Australia- and Canada-centric story, I’m also working on something I’ll be submitting to the one and only Cracked.com. If they actually decide to publish my trash, ya’ll will be the first to know.

But I’m back here today, specifically, to throw a small heaping of international affairs f#%kery at you. Lately, North Korea has been incredibly naughty (read as: homicidal and destructive) and I’d be remiss if I didn’t write about it.

Continue reading “Things are heating up in East Asia!”

Valentine’s Day Cards for Politics Junkies

Have you ever sat there and wished you had some really bad international relations jokes to send to your sweetheart? If the answer is yes, you’re in luck. Sending your significant other these inappropriate Valentine’s Day cards are sure to let them know how much you love them and hate yourself.

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And more under the jump!

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Vietnam and the American Devil

After the war, Vietnam struggled with America–and herself.

Soundtrack: Devil Devil by Milck

1975

Explosions shook the air. Vietnam heard the whirring of helicopter blades and feet pounding against asphalt as people scrambled for an escape–echoes from a distant reality. But what wasn’t muted, what was so real that it pumped fire through her veins, was the sight of her flag wavering in the dusty wind amidst the wreckage of Saigon.

Continue reading “Vietnam and the American Devil”

BLACK METAL SWANS OF CARNAGE

The Nordic countries had a band called Black Metal Swans of Carnage. The name was craftily engineered by Finland, who was the female vocalist. Sweden was on the drums because her big, strong arms were perfect for hammering away at things. Denmark took up the male vocals while rocking electric guitar #1. Norway was on the second guitar, but he was so talented that during some songs he would strum while tickling the electric ivories. Iceland was the bassist because he was brooding due to the seasonal depression.

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Top 10 craziest things that happened in 2016

Coming to a close soon, 2016 was a rough year for a lot of people. The world of politics and world affairs was rocked with unpredictable phenomena and big, often worrying, changes. This post highlights 10 of the most absurd events that occurred this past year, in no particular order.

Continue reading “Top 10 craziest things that happened in 2016”