The MAGA Chronicles: Globalism is for Cucks

The MAGA Chronicles is a new series that takes you on a journey with Trump’s America, where narcissism and depravity know no bounds.


I never wanted to hurt my sister, but the monster must die.

My hurried footsteps echo against the walls of the bare corridor in time with my heartbeat. Lights flicker overhead. An alarm wails in the distance, but I’m not afraid of what’s coming. Having made love to many, many beautiful countries just before arriving here, all at once, I’m invigorated–and out for blood.

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Gangsters and Rebels

This is a story of fervor and pain,
of two lovers in political chains.

Have you ever found yourself in a terrible situation because of love? Mexico has. With his last breath drawing near, body wracked with pain as he lay dying in a pool of his own blood, he tries to remember the stupid decisions that lead up to this point so he can regret them one last time.

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My trip to the United Nations

Recently I stumbled upon a magic lamp. “What do you desire most?” the genie asked. “I want to go to the United Nations,” I told him. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” he replied. Angry, I asked, “What? You can’t grant my wish?” “No,” he said, “I’m just sorry to hear that the thing you want most is to go to the UN.”

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The MAGA Chronicles

The world according to Trump’s America

 

You think North Korea is the only one who gets to tell his story? I’ve read it. It’s absolutely pathetic. I mean, I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be a work of fiction or a New York Times article. Oh, wait, they’re the same thing. And the worst part–let me tell you–is that he makes me looks so bad. #FakeHistory. But I’m a great guy–you know that I’m a great guy.  So I’ve decided to set the record straight. You’ll see. You’ll all see.

They say that history is written by the victors, and guess what? I never lose.

“The MAGA Chronicles”
Coming this October

(While you’re waiting, go ahead and read about how America unlocked his final form upon discovering that he’s a hyperpower.)

American Doctrines 101

Six American doctrines, six morally questionable decisions.

Here at P&P, I value education. It’s why I always strive to explain history and politics in the simplest and most unprofessional ways possible, to make the information easier to digest. Today, I want to look at six US foreign policy doctrines–why they were written, and what they set out to accomplish. Although there’s a cheat sheet above, read on for a better understanding.

And if you want to test your knowledge at the end, I made a quiz that will put your high school history teachers to shame.

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The Life and Times of North Korea: Nuclear Crisis

“They must be made to believe that we are about to collapse, that they will inherit more maggots than they can count, more bodies than they can bury, more disease than they can cure, more chaos than they can stomach. They are convinced that we are weak, on our last legs, about to collapse? Let them; let them worry every night when they go into their warm beds that we are about to hold our breaths until our wasted bodies fall across their doorstep.” – From Inspector O (James Church)


March 1993

A fluorescent bulb flickered spontaneously, the only light in the white, windowless room. It hadn’t been long, but North Korea’s muscles already felt stiff in that hard chair. The adrenaline kept his mind off of it.

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