MAGA: Let’s Own That Commie Cuck

(Read the prologue)

My jaw throbbed and I tasted blood on my tongue. Hair fell into my face when I met China’s steely eyes with a white-hot glare.

“That hurt, you little shit.” Except he was far from little. Nearly my height, he was lean and built like a mannequin in an Abercrombie & Fitch.

Continue reading “MAGA: Let’s Own That Commie Cuck”

The MAGA Chronicles: Globalism is for Cucks

The MAGA Chronicles is a new series that takes you on a journey with Trump’s America, where narcissism and depravity know no bounds.

I never wanted to hurt my sister, but the monster must die.

My hurried footsteps echo against the walls of the bare corridor in time with my heartbeat. Lights flicker overhead. An alarm wails in the distance, but I’m not afraid of what’s coming. Having made love to many, many beautiful countries just before arriving here, all at once, I’m invigorated–and out for blood.

Continue reading “The MAGA Chronicles: Globalism is for Cucks”

The MAGA Chronicles

The world according to Trump’s America


You think North Korea is the only one who gets to tell his story? I’ve read it. It’s absolutely┬ápathetic. I mean, I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be a work of fiction or a New York Times article. Oh, wait, they’re the same thing. And the worst part–let me tell you–is that he makes me looks so bad. #FakeHistory. But I’m a great guy–you know that I’m a great guy. ┬áSo I’ve decided to set the record straight. You’ll see. You’ll all see.

They say that history is written by the victors, and guess what? I never lose.

“The MAGA Chronicles”
Coming this October

(While you’re waiting, go ahead and read about how America unlocked his final form upon discovering that he’s a hyperpower.)