One China two China Red China blue China

In light of recent events, here’s a quick revisit to the story I wrote that briefly explores the China-Taiwan issue.

Prejudice & Politics

Header image for One China Two China Red China Blue ChinaSmoke filtered through the gaps in the beaded curtain that hid their booth. Between both of their cigarettes, the air around them matched a Beijing skyline.

Long nails clicked against porcelain as Taiwan fixed her tea. China smoked quietly and every so often resisted the urge to check his buzzing cellphone. Should have silenced it.

“Have you been well?” She asked after a long lull of silence. It was a safe question.

China kept his eyes off of her. “Yes, I think so.”

Taiwan leaned down and breathed in.”What a nice scent.  You said this was chun mee, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe I could make us tung-ting next time.”

“I don’t like oolong.”

Taiwan’s lips pursed. “You are being impossible.”

He sat up suddenly. “Excuse me? Green tea is healthy. You ought to drink it more. It lowers blood pressure and cholesterol. You could benefit–”

“Oh, shut up. I’ll drink your tea.”

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One China two China Red China blue China

Smoke filtered through the gaps in the beaded curtain that hid their booth. Between both of their cigarettes, the air around them matched the Beijing skyline.

Long, red nails clicked against porcelain as Taiwan fixed her tea. China smoked quietly and, every so often, resisted the urge to check his buzzing cellphone. Should have silenced it.

Header image for One China Two China Red China Blue China

Smoke filtered through the gaps in the beaded curtain that hid their booth. Between both of their cigarettes, the air around them matched a Beijing skyline.

Long nails clicked against porcelain as Taiwan fixed her tea. China smoked quietly and every so often resisted the urge to check his buzzing cellphone. Should have silenced it.

“Have you been well?” She asked after a long lull of silence. It was a safe question.

China kept his eyes off of her. “Yes, I think so.”

Taiwan leaned down and breathed in.”What a nice scent.  You said this was chun mee, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe I could make us tung-ting next time.”

“I don’t like oolong.”

Taiwan’s lips pursed. “You are being impossible.”

He sat up suddenly. “Excuse me? Green tea is healthy. You ought to drink it more. It lowers blood pressure and cholesterol. You could benefit–”

“Oh, shut up. I’ll drink your tea.”

Continue reading “One China two China Red China blue China”

Uncomfortable Japanese sashimi

When Japan picked up the phone she was greeted by a very distressed American.
“Philippines is going to your place today, right? Ask–ask her why she hates me.”
“Are you going to cry?”
“She did me dirty. That shit was hurtful!”
“Please don’t cry.”

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Photo by Dennis Wong

And so, the drama from yesterday continues.

When Japan picked up the phone she was greeted by a very distressed American.

“Philippines is going to your place today, right? Ask–ask her why she hates me.”

“Are you going to cry?”

“She did me dirty. That shit was hurtful! I mean, you know, I’ve been friends with her for years and suddenly she hates me? What the hell? Is it–is it because I’m weak? But I’m not though, right?”

“Please don’t cry.”

“And China?” America made a noise that sounded caught between a growl and a gag. “She goes for him, of all people? It’s because he’s hot, isn’t it? Is China sexier than me? Japan, be honest.”

“Hold, please.”

“What?”

She slowly brought the phone away from her ear and hung up.

Continue reading “Uncomfortable Japanese sashimi”

Salty North Korean kimchi

Last week, the Philippines announced a foreign policy pivot away from the US and toward China, saying “America has lost.” But that wasn’t all it said.

At the end of what was supposed to be a feel-good film (think: Chinese Homeward Bound), North Korea was crying. But that was normal. What actually concerned China was his friend’s response to a tweet Philippines made earlier that day.

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Continue reading “Salty North Korean kimchi”

Blood red Commie water

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Photo by lumpi

Based on this article from September 8th. 

Belarus was relieved to hear that she could use Russia’s shower while hers was being repaired. That relief would soon turn into horror.

***

Russia stood in the bathroom doorway as Belarus examined the shower faucets with scrutiny. Every shower was a different mystifying puzzle that caused inner anguish; how do I turn it on, how do I work temperature, what do I do if it’s too hot or too cold and you’re downstairs and can’t hear my screams?

Russia said, “You know where everything is, don’t you? Let me know if you need anything.” She turned and left, but only got half-way down the hallway before she heard a shriek and went running back.

“What is this?” Belarus sounded like she’d just found a dead body. “Why is it red?”

Continue reading “Blood red Commie water”

On the cusp

When North Korea conducted a missile test, everyone thought for sure China would be so mad that he’d refuse to meet with his southern neighbor. Everyone was wrong. The meeting went well. Too well. You’d almost think China was making a show of it to send a message to a certain someone.

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Photo by Alexas_Fotos

Based on this article.

When North Korea conducted a missile test, everyone thought for sure China would be so mad that he’d refuse to meet with the guy. Everyone was wrong. The meeting went well. Too well. You’d almost think China was making a show of it to send a message to a certain someone.

North Korea was good at many things, but ruining things for China was one of his best skills. That’s why, just days after the lovely meeting, North Korea made a surprise visit to Beijing.

Continue reading “On the cusp”