The MAGA Chronicles is a new series that takes you on a journey with Trump’s America, where narcissism and depravity know no bounds.
I never wanted to hurt my sister, but the monster must die.
My hurried footsteps echo against the walls of the bare corridor in time with my heartbeat. Lights flicker overhead. An alarm wails in the distance, but I’m not afraid of what’s coming. Having made love to many, many beautiful countries just before arriving here, all at once, I’m invigorated–and out for blood.
Trump says some awful things, right? Most of it is pretty ridiculous. It becomes even more ridiculous when we pretend to attribute his quotes to countries that didn’t actually say these things, but very well could have.
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.” – America, talking about himself
“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me.” – China
“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.” – Also China
“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” – Russia