Gangsters and Rebels

This is a story of fervor and pain,
of two lovers in political chains.

Have you ever found yourself in a terrible situation because of love? Mexico has. With his last breath drawing near, body wracked with pain as he lay dying in a pool of his own blood, he tries to remember the stupid decisions that lead up to this point so he can regret them one last time.


PROLOGUE

The Cold War divided the world harshly,
Ambitious superpowers came to rise,
Two blocs, two kings, two ideologies,
seeking total dominance as their prize.
The United States had an obsession:
full control of the Western Hemisphere,
While the USSR sought possession
of Eastern Europe and everyone near.
Many were caught in this raging feud,
Some of them were willing, fueled by rancor,
while others were victims of turpitude,
manipulated, used in proxy wars.
This is a story of fervor and pain,
of two lovers in political chains.

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Brotherly Love is a Death Threat

South Korea’s family problems are probably worse than yours.

Two mini stories about South Korea because she deserves the love.


South Korea was on her back and clutching a throw pillow to her chest. She watched the ceiling fan whirl and stir up the summer air. Then her face twisted in pain.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I can’t call him North anymore because he hates it. But I can’t call him Korea either because I’m Korea too.” Her brow scrunched up. “And like hell I’m going to call him ‘DPRK.’ It’s too long.”

On the other side of the couch, America was abusing a controller; like a real gamer, he knew that mashing buttons would make his attacks work better.

He said, “Why don’t you just call him, like, Diparky?”

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Upcoming Book: Manifest Destiny! Smokin’ Guns! And One F*cked Up War!

Am I actually writing a western? Yup.

One cowboy. One fighter. One victim. One survivor.

This is the story of a callous hero with a calling from God, of the man standing in his way, of a declining empire struggling to confront addiction, humiliation, and weakness, of a woman coming to grips with a violent and uncertain future.

This is the Mexican-American War, told through a shoot-em-up western rich with moral ambiguity and anti-imperialism vitriol, and absolutely free of poorly-written Southern accents.

And so, the long and arduous journey beings. I’m excited to share this new adventure with you guys; many of you have written or are writing a book, so I know I’m in good company. Pray for me, ya’ll! But also definitely share your novel-writing tips and struggles.

Want a little teaser of the novel? Check it out below.

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A Guide To Loneliness

Many despise me. That should probably concern or even repulse me, but it doesn’t.

I think there might be a flaw in my programming. I feel nothing, but I think I should probably be feeling something.

I have never cared about other people in the way that is expected of me. Relationships and personal attachments, they are like webs linking people together. My webs never quite make it to the other person. I have friends, people I call my allies, but if they were to disappear and I would never seem them again, I would not mourn for long. I would feel sadness only briefly, but then I might feel…. relief.

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The Five Countries You Meet in Hell

Mama, we’re meant for the flies.

His boots kicked up dirt as he shuffled through the ridge, musket slung over his shoulder. The large boulders that lined the narrow passage on both sides were cool even when the air was thick and hot. Cannons blasted in the distance and with each crack, his heart beat faster.

It was 1865.

Wait. No, it wasn’t.

America froze in his tracks because he remembered.

He remembered dying.

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Would You Veto a Popcorn Machine?

See, kids? That’s what heavy industrialization and 500 years of chain-smoking will do to ya.

Once in a while, you have to make a yearly budget. You also have to periodically reflect on your financial priorities because some people can’t be trusted.


“So, bit of a funny story,” England said to the other members of the Security Council sitting in the conference room. “I was looking through the budget proposals when I see something just a little strange.” He slid the thick budget book to the center of the table and with a pen pointed to a particular line on the page. “This says ‘2AM runs to McDonald’s.’ And, it gets better, we’ve got $1000 set aside for that. One-thousand dollars, eight-hundred and ninety-three Euros, six-thousand something yuan–whatever the hell you want.”

He looked around the room. “Now, who wants to take a little guess at which one of us thinks we need one-thousand dollars for McDonald’s?”

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Story Update: 50 Shades of Authoritarianism

Hey, guys. Sometimes I feel the need to go back and update earlier stories for a variety of reasons. Today I’ve done that to a somewhat controversial piece from last year.

Header image for story, featuring China and a very gay America

50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder

This story came under fire on another website for coming off as racist and anti-China. While the latter was my intention, the former was not. Even so, I believe I was still in the wrong. My goal with the rewrite was to be not disrespectful to Chinese culture while preserving the two main concepts: America’s lust for China, vis a vis Trump’s ass-kissing of Xi Jinping, and his economic resentment toward China. The story is still at its core a bunch of bad sex jokes about morally questionable foreign policy.

To read the revision, click this or the link above. I’d appreciate your thoughts on the changes.