50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder

A political pivot results in a steamy encounter.

Trump loves Russia, but did you know that he has deep, undeniable feelings for China too? This is the thrilling, unrelated sequel to 50 Shades of Authoritarianism.


The warm sensation taking over America’s body could have been caused by the wine, the lavender wafting through the air, or the fact that China had just stepped back into the living room wearing only a silk robe.

Continue reading “50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder”

Trump’s First 100 Days: An Endless Stream of Bullshit

Most simply, everything can be broken down into these three categories.

1. Pissed someone off
2. Ruined a friendship
3. Almost started a war

Recently, the 45th president celebrated his first 100 days in office, forcing Fox News to desperately grasp at straws as they try to find achievements for which he could take credit.

Thankfully, I am much smarter than Fox News and will give you my own special 100 days list specifically focusing on the realm of international relations.

Most simply, everything can be broken down into these three categories.

  1. Pissed someone off
  2. Ruined a friendship
  3. Almost started a war

Continue reading “Trump’s First 100 Days: An Endless Stream of Bullshit”

doodles + updates

 

amesketch
He’s talking about himself, of course.

 

Happy Monday.

Job searching has been miserable, but I figure that if I keep throwing darts at the board, one’s gonna hit eventually.

I’m thinking of rewriting Mutually Assured Delusion and turning it into a real novel… but if in the near future the US does go to war with North Korea, thus resulting in widespread death and destruction, wouldn’t I look like an ass, having written about it hypothetically in an overexaggerated comedy? Could I even live with myself?

Continue reading “doodles + updates”

50 Shades of Authoritarianism: A New Era in Russia-US Relations

They sat close together on the couch and watched the crackling fire with half-lidded eyes. The wine in their glasses almost matched the color of her lips and America couldn’t quite figure out which of the two was more intoxicating.

Continue reading “50 Shades of Authoritarianism: A New Era in Russia-US Relations”

Vietnam and the American Devil

After the war, Vietnam struggled with America–and herself.

Soundtrack: Devil Devil by Milck

1975

Explosions shook the air. Vietnam heard the whirring of helicopter blades and feet pounding against asphalt as people scrambled for an escape–echoes from a distant reality. But what wasn’t muted, what was so real that it pumped fire through her veins, was the sight of her flag wavering in the dusty wind amidst the wreckage of Saigon.

Continue reading “Vietnam and the American Devil”

Western Showdown: The Battle for Texas

Mexico made one fatal mistake. He let the white people in.

John Wayne by Lady Gaga ♪

1844

With a loud crack, wood splintered from the bar counter and went flying into the air that was thick with the smell of cigars and gunpowder–but, unfortunately, not into the dirt-stained face of that weasely American bastard.

Continue reading “Western Showdown: The Battle for Texas”

North Korea the Red-Nosed Nation-State: Part II

“You know what these boots are made for? Stomping fascists.”

A continuation of this story.

Turns out, the Abominable American wasn’t that hard to outrun. He was pretty slow due to his size, and also kind of lazy. He gave up chase five minutes in, after which he retreated to his lair to partake in material sin and filthiness.

Continue reading “North Korea the Red-Nosed Nation-State: Part II”