BRICS at the Beach

Russia, India, Brazil, South Africa, and China have a weekend getaway.

It’s summer! And what better way to celebrate friendship and financial anxiety than a trip to the beach?


Clad in their finest swimwear, India, Brazil, and South Africa stood firmly in a line on the deck and waited for Russia to speak, like they were soldiers awaiting orders.

“On this trip, everyone will be wearing protection at all times.” Russia’s voice was commanding as she wielded a bottle of sunscreen in her hand like it was a sword. “I don’t care if you ‘don’t burn.’ The sun is evil and it will kill you.” The other women jumped at the force behind Russia’s accusation. “Now, who wants to rub lotion all over my back?” India threw up her hand.

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doodles + updates

 

amesketch
He’s talking about himself, of course.

 

Happy Monday.

Job searching has been miserable, but I figure that if I keep throwing darts at the board, one’s gonna hit eventually.

I’m thinking of rewriting Mutually Assured Delusion and turning it into a real novel… but if in the near future the US does go to war with North Korea, thus resulting in widespread death and destruction, wouldn’t I look like an ass, having written about it hypothetically in an overexaggerated comedy? Could I even live with myself?

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50 Shades of Authoritarianism: A New Era in Russia-US Relations

They sat close together on the couch and watched the crackling fire with half-lidded eyes. The wine in their glasses almost matched the color of her lips and America couldn’t quite figure out which of the two was more intoxicating.

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North Korea the Red-Nosed Nation-State: Part II

“You know what these boots are made for? Stomping fascists.”

A continuation of this story.

Turns out, the Abominable American wasn’t that hard to outrun. He was pretty slow due to his size, and also kind of lazy. He gave up chase five minutes in, after which he retreated to his lair to partake in material sin and filthiness.

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North Korea the Red-Nosed Nation-State: Part I

It was a special day at the North Pole.

Russia was ecstatic when her new baby boy was born with a red nose, for she knew the vibrant color derived from the boy’s fiery communist resolve.

“Look at him,” Russia said as she cradled her baby and stared in awe at the boy’s glowing snout. “Isn’t he beautiful, China?”

China took a sip of bourbon and flipped through the newspaper in his lap.”Sure.”

The trembling young country looked at his mother and then to China, big black eyes shining with innocence. “D… D…”

Russia gasped. “Look at you! Are you going to say your first word?”

The baby’s face wrinkled into a nasty look. “D…D… Duh… Die, Western dogs!”

Russia cried out, throwing her arms around her son as tears of joy pooled in the corners of her eyes.

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Allies & A-Holes: Your P&P guide to International Politics – Coming SOON

Surprise, surprise, I’m writing a book.

But not just any book. It’s a free, political e-guidebook of sorts that not only provides fun and entertaining little excerpts of stories from this blog (along with brand new original content, whoa), but also a quick and easy breakdown of who hates whom and why.

downloadteaser
Allies & A-Holes: America Teaser (.pdf)

Diving into the foreign relations of the US, Russia, China, Japan, South Korea, and North Korea, Allies & A-Holes tries to make sense of some of the complicated affairs of East Asia and how everyone feels about one another.

International relations made easy. And fun.

Each chapter focuses on one of the six countries and includes a: autobiography, relationship cheat sheet, detailed look at how X feels about Y written from that country’s POV, excerpts from and links to relevant P&P stories, and a Further Reading section for quenching your thirst for knowledge.

To get you excited, I’ve got a free teaser (see above) that you can download and enjoy. It shows you about half of America’s chapter so you can get a feel for how the finished book will look.

And finally, you should absolutely share the news and spread the word. Positive responses and reader engagement would totally encourage me to do a part two with all new countries.

Look forward to the official release this holiday season.