Russia, India, Brazil, South Africa, and China have a weekend getaway.
It’s summer! And what better way to celebrate friendship and financial anxiety than a trip to the beach?
Clad in their finest swimwear, India, Brazil, and South Africa stood firmly in a line on the deck and waited for Russia to speak, like they were soldiers awaiting orders.
“On this trip, everyone will be wearing protection at all times.” Russia’s voice was commanding as she wielded a bottle of sunscreen in her hand like it was a sword. “I don’t care if you ‘don’t burn.’ The sun is evil and it will kill you.” The other women jumped at the force behind Russia’s accusation. “Now, who wants to rub lotion all over my back?” India threw up her hand.
Remember to show your mom some love and appreciation today, okay? And if you maybe aren’t on good terms your real mom, just remember that you can always find love in the warm embrace of (Mother) Russia.
Job searching has been miserable, but I figure that if I keep throwing darts at the board, one’s gonna hit eventually.
I’m thinking of rewriting Mutually Assured Delusion and turning it into a real novel… but if in the near future the US does go to war with North Korea, thus resulting in widespread death and destruction, wouldn’t I look like an ass, having written about it hypothetically in an overexaggerated comedy? Could I even live with myself?
They sat close together on the couch and watched the crackling fire with half-lidded eyes. The wine in their glasses almost matched the color of her lips and America couldn’t quite figure out which of the two was more intoxicating.
Turns out, the Abominable American wasn’t that hard to outrun. He was pretty slow due to his size, and also kind of lazy. He gave up chase five minutes in, after which he retreated to his lair to partake in material sin and filthiness.