I mix vodka with orange juice and call it breakfast. The alcohol will help me forget that I didn’t sleep last night. Or the night before. Is it nighttime right now? I can’t tell because I never open the curtains because if I do they will watch me and I’m afraid.
Job searching has been miserable, but I figure that if I keep throwing darts at the board, one’s gonna hit eventually.
I’m thinking of rewriting Mutually Assured Delusion and turning it into a real novel… but if in the near future the US does go to war with North Korea, thus resulting in widespread death and destruction, wouldn’t I look like an ass, having written about it hypothetically in an overexaggerated comedy? Could I even live with myself?
Along with working on, and struggling with, an Australia- and Canada-centric story, I’m also working on something I’ll be submitting to the one and only Cracked.com. If they actually decide to publish my trash, ya’ll will be the first to know.
But I’m back here today, specifically, to throw a small heaping of international affairs f#%kery at you. Lately, North Korea has been incredibly naughty (read as: homicidal and destructive) and I’d be remiss if I didn’t write about it.
Your worth is never determined by who loves you or who you have sex with.
Hello. I am the DPRK, known to you reactionaries as “north Korea.” Last year, I wrote a truly inspiring and profound article for this website. That very article received over 1 million likes within the first hour alone. However, only 15 likes are showing at the moment–a technical error on the fault of WordPress.com, a known bourgeoisie puppet.
Today, I am back on this evening of Western debauchery to deliver a very important message.
Explosions shook the air. Vietnam heard the whirring of helicopter blades and feet pounding against asphalt as people scrambled for an escape–echoes from a distant reality. But what wasn’t muted, what was so real that it pumped fire through her veins, was the sight of her flag wavering in the dusty wind amidst the wreckage of Saigon.
Turns out, the Abominable American wasn’t that hard to outrun. He was pretty slow due to his size, and also kind of lazy. He gave up chase five minutes in, after which he retreated to his lair to partake in material sin and filthiness.