Russia Stole My Girlfriend

Japan’s wristlet purse rattled all the way to the coffee bar.

“Double shot, please,” she told the machine.

It whirred to life and soon a steaming shot of bean water was filling a mug.

She fetched a pill pouch from her purse. It had to be holding at least a dozen different pills in all shapes and sizes–capsules, tablets, slick, some small and round, and others quite enormous and shiny.

She dumped the pills into her hand, popped them into her mouth, tossed back the scalding hot espresso and swallowed it all in one big gulp.

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She

I feel her everywhere.

She is the shadow at the end of every hallway. The eyes staring at me from the darkness. The black figure I catch in corner of my vision. The chill that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand. She is never in front of me, always behind. Always watching.

She came like death–suddenly and absolutely. I will always remember that day.

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5 Times America Was in Love

America remembers five of his past romantic relationships and how he completely ruined them.

Being stuck in bed with a dangerously high fever and no strength to do anything but stare at the TV had repercussions, particularly when you end up watching Hallmark and prime time television for three days straight.

That night, the mix of delirium from the sickness combined with 72 hours worth of romcom reruns and soap operas had America in a very particular mood: reminiscing about past relationships.

You should be warned:

The sick mind likes to embellish.

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A Guide To Loneliness

Many despise me. That should probably concern or even repulse me, but it doesn’t.

I think there might be a flaw in my programming. I feel nothing, but I think I should probably be feeling something.

I have never cared about other people in the way that is expected of me. Relationships and personal attachments, they are like webs linking people together. My webs never quite make it to the other person. I have friends, people I call my allies, but if they were to disappear and I would never seem them again, I would not mourn for long. I would feel sadness only briefly, but then I might feel…. relief.

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The Five Countries You Meet in Hell

Mama, we’re meant for the flies.

His boots kicked up dirt as he shuffled through the ridge, musket slung over his shoulder. The large boulders that lined the narrow passage on both sides were cool even when the air was thick and hot. Cannons blasted in the distance and with each crack, his heart beat faster.

It was 1865.

Wait. No, it wasn’t.

America froze in his tracks because he remembered.

He remembered dying.

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Current Events: Everyone Wants a Piece of North Korea

Ever since the winter Olympics when the two Koreas took flamethrowers to their chilled and strained relationship, a diplomatic firestorm has been raging in East Asia–and that is not necessarily a bad thing. With an inter-Korea summit and Trump-Kim summit on the rise, the region has been a flurry of wild political activity. But how did this all unfold and what does it mean to and for the countries involved? In this, I try to explain.

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Anakin You’re Breaking My Heart

“If you could say anything to America, openly and honestly, what would you say?”
“I would ask him to please stop being a dumb bitch.”

They sat tucked away in the corner of the cafe, as if this was supposed to be some secret.

Japan had one friend, and that was only inconvenient when she needed to complain about that friend. Germany was the only person she could talk to about this; South Korea wouldn’t care, China was too close to the issue and too cold anyway, Russia couldn’t talk about America objectively. Germany was honest, impassive, cool-headed. Germany would have to do.

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