Trump’s First 100 Days: An Endless Stream of Bullshit

Most simply, everything can be broken down into these three categories.

1. Pissed someone off
2. Ruined a friendship
3. Almost started a war

Recently, the 45th president celebrated his first 100 days in office, forcing Fox News to desperately grasp at straws as they try to find achievements for which he could take credit.

Thankfully, I am much smarter than Fox News and will give you my own special 100 days list specifically focusing on the realm of international relations.

Most simply, everything can be broken down into these three categories.

  1. Pissed someone off
  2. Ruined a friendship
  3. Almost started a war

Continue reading “Trump’s First 100 Days: An Endless Stream of Bullshit”

Things are heating up in East Asia!

Hi, friends.

Along with working on, and struggling with, an Australia- and Canada-centric story, I’m also working on something I’ll be submitting to the one and only Cracked.com. If they actually decide to publish my trash, ya’ll will be the first to know.

But I’m back here today, specifically, to throw a small heaping of international affairs f#%kery at you. Lately, North Korea has been incredibly naughty (read as: homicidal and destructive) and I’d be remiss if I didn’t write about it.

Continue reading “Things are heating up in East Asia!”

Top 10 craziest things that happened in 2016

Coming to a close soon, 2016 was a rough year for a lot of people. The world of politics and world affairs was rocked with unpredictable phenomena and big, often worrying, changes. This post highlights 10 of the most absurd events that occurred this past year, in no particular order.

Continue reading “Top 10 craziest things that happened in 2016”

Need an election detox?

Tuesday was pretty hard for a lot of people. After everything that’s happened, you might want to stop, step back from it all, and smile about something. Here are some lighthearted and fun stories that will hopefully give your mind a much-needed humor cleanse.

drink-fruit-1554657_1280.jpg
This detox juice almost looks good

Tuesday was pretty hard for a lot of people. After everything that’s happened, you might want to stop, step back from it all, and smile about something. Here are some lighthearted and fun stories that will hopefully give your mind a much-needed humor cleanse.

From the P&P archives:

South Korea shouted above the pop and rushing breeze. “I know what I just did to my body made it careen closer and closer toward death, but I feel alive! Like, life is good and has a purpose and everything is okay even though it’s not!” (From “THROW DOWN”)

Don’t miss out on these great posts from other funny bloggers:

Take care, everyone.

Please vote in the US 2016 election.

“You’ve been screwing me big time in trade. Well guess what? I’m gonna screw you. I’m gonna screw you so hard–twice as hard as you’ve ever screwed me. You get that? I’m gonna be the best screwer you’ve seen. Believe me.”

VOTE IN THIS 2016 ELECTION
Photo by personalincome.org

A MESSAGE FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA:

Hillary Clinton. Donalds Trump. Election. Comey. Russia. ISIS. China. Emails.

Okay now that that SEO junk is outta the way, please hear me out.

You gotta vote. I know you’re thinking, “But they both suck” or “I’m a socialist so I hate both candidates and I want Bernie back” or even “F*** the system, I’m not gonna vote!”

Listen, if you don’t vote, the terrorists win.

Voting isn’t just a right, it’s your only shot at making sure that a raving asshat isn’t running your country.

I won’t tell you who to vote for. But to encourage you to actually carry yourself to the polls, you can read on for two WORST CASE SCENARIOS if either candidate gets elected. If it scares you, use your voting power to prevent a terrible future–just one of them, anyway.

Continue reading “Please vote in the US 2016 election.”

Uncomfortable Japanese sashimi

When Japan picked up the phone she was greeted by a very distressed American.
“Philippines is going to your place today, right? Ask–ask her why she hates me.”
“Are you going to cry?”
“She did me dirty. That shit was hurtful!”
“Please don’t cry.”

%e5%88%ba%e8%ba%ab%e6%8b%bc%e7%9b%a4_3253764826
Photo by Dennis Wong

And so, the drama from yesterday continues.

When Japan picked up the phone she was greeted by a very distressed American.

“Philippines is going to your place today, right? Ask–ask her why she hates me.”

“Are you going to cry?”

“She did me dirty. That shit was hurtful! I mean, you know, I’ve been friends with her for years and suddenly she hates me? What the hell? Is it–is it because I’m weak? But I’m not though, right?”

“Please don’t cry.”

“And China?” America made a noise that sounded caught between a growl and a gag. “She goes for him, of all people? It’s because he’s hot, isn’t it? Is China sexier than me? Japan, be honest.”

“Hold, please.”

“What?”

She slowly brought the phone away from her ear and hung up.

Continue reading “Uncomfortable Japanese sashimi”

Salty North Korean kimchi

Last week, the Philippines announced a foreign policy pivot away from the US and toward China, saying “America has lost.” But that wasn’t all it said.

At the end of what was supposed to be a feel-good film (think: Chinese Homeward Bound), North Korea was crying. But that was normal. What actually concerned China was his friend’s response to a tweet Philippines made earlier that day.

philtwitter.png

Continue reading “Salty North Korean kimchi”