Am I actually writing a western? Yup.
One cowboy. One fighter. One victim. One survivor.
This is the story of a callous hero with a calling from God, of the man standing in his way, of a declining empire struggling to confront addiction, humiliation, and weakness, of a woman coming to grips with a violent and uncertain future.
This is the Mexican-American War, told through a shoot-em-up western rich with moral ambiguity and anti-imperialism vitriol, and absolutely free of poorly-written Southern accents.
And so, the long and arduous journey beings. I’m excited to share this new adventure with you guys; many of you have written or are writing a book, so I know I’m in good company. Pray for me, ya’ll! But also definitely share your novel-writing tips and struggles.
Want a little teaser of the novel? Check it out below.
Continue reading “Upcoming Book: Manifest Destiny! Smokin’ Guns! And One F*cked Up War!”
Mama, we’re meant for the flies.
His boots kicked up dirt as he shuffled through the ridge, musket slung over his shoulder. The large boulders that lined the narrow passage on both sides were cool even when the air was thick and hot. Cannons blasted in the distance and with each crack, his heart beat faster.
It was 1865.
Wait. No, it wasn’t.
America froze in his tracks because he remembered.
He remembered dying.
Continue reading “The Five Countries You Meet in Hell”
See, kids? That’s what heavy industrialization and 500 years of chain-smoking will do to ya.
Once in a while, you have to make a yearly budget. You also have to periodically reflect on your financial priorities because some people can’t be trusted.
“So, bit of a funny story,” England said to the other members of the Security Council sitting in the conference room. “I was looking through the budget proposals when I see something just a little strange.” He slid the thick budget book to the center of the table and with a pen pointed to a particular line on the page. “This says ‘2AM runs to McDonald’s.’ And, it gets better, we’ve got $1000 set aside for that. One-thousand dollars, eight-hundred and ninety-three Euros, six-thousand something yuan–whatever the hell you want.”
He looked around the room. “Now, who wants to take a little guess at which one of us thinks we need one-thousand dollars for McDonald’s?”
Continue reading “Would You Veto a Popcorn Machine?”
Hey, guys. Sometimes I feel the need to go back and update earlier stories for a variety of reasons. Today I’ve done that to a somewhat controversial piece from last year.
50 Shades of Authoritarianism: 50 Shades Redder
This story came under fire on another website for coming off as racist and anti-China. While the latter was my intention, the former was not. Even so, I believe I was still in the wrong. My goal with the rewrite was to be not disrespectful to Chinese culture while preserving the two main concepts: America’s lust for China, vis a vis Trump’s ass-kissing of Xi Jinping, and his economic resentment toward China. The story is still at its core a bunch of bad sex jokes about morally questionable foreign policy.
To read the revision, click this or the link above. I’d appreciate your thoughts on the changes.
Ever since the winter Olympics when the two Koreas took flamethrowers to their chilled and strained relationship, a diplomatic firestorm has been raging in East Asia–and that is not necessarily a bad thing. With an inter-Korea summit and Trump-Kim summit on the rise, the region has been a flurry of wild political activity. But how did this all unfold and what does it mean to and for the countries involved? In this, I try to explain.
Continue reading “Current Events: Everyone Wants a Piece of North Korea”
No comic this Sunday but have some bad sketches. They’re, like, all Japan, sorry.
(Clicking them makes them big.)
Testing out the pencil brush
More pencil brush
america + japan. gender isn’t real
This is maybe a random question, but if the US and China were to suddenly stop existing, what would happen?
You know she had to do it to ’em.