Country Dating Profiles

Where politics is cold, love is warm.

Can you guess who wrote which one?
(It’s painfully easy.)

Chill guy, super powerful, crazy rich, really hot, great sense of humor. Ordering pizza after sex is mandatory. Preference: anything that moves. If you curvy that’s all good; big is beautiful. I’ll be more attracted to you if you blindly agree with me and support everything I do even when I’m wrong.


You think you’re worthy to breathe the same air I breathe? You insignificant beast. Love me. Praise me. Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me. You’re less than dirt. Pathetic, pitiful, powerless. Tell me how much you want me, pig. You’re just the jackal howling at my door. My love is a gift you are not worthy to receive. I grant you mercy because I take pity on creatures of lesser intellect, beauty, and purity. Perish, worm.

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The Contents of One’s Heart

“Whoever drinks this elixir shall be granted the gift of sight–to see into a person’s heart and know their true character.”

In that particular wing of the United Nations, the air was thick with secrecy.

“Did you bring it?” whispered America.

“Yeah,” Japan whispered back. From her shirt, she pulled a small glass vial that stored a vibrant bluish liquid. America stared at it in awe while Japan reached into her pocket, procured a slip of paper, and read from it. “‘Whoever drinks this elixir shall be granted the gift of sight–to see into a person’s heart and know their true character.’ You try it first,” she suggested, holding it out to him. He shrugged his shoulders.

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MAGA: Let’s Own That Commie Cuck

(Read the prologue)

My jaw throbbed and I tasted blood on my tongue. Hair fell into my face when I met China’s steely eyes with a white-hot glare.

“That hurt, you little shit.” Except he was far from little. Nearly my height, he was lean and built like a mannequin in an Abercrombie & Fitch.

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Character Spotlight: Japan

The Land of the Rising Sun answers questions.

Allison here.

I want to help you guys get to know the countries better so I decided to begin conducting interviews and bringing you the exclusive scoops. After all, these people run the world so it might be a good idea to understand the inner workings of their minds.

Recently, I was able to land a one-on-one with the ever elusive Japan. (She ignored my first 50 calls, but I am persistent.) Here’s how it went.

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Korea’s Quest Illustrations

Here’s a compilation of some quick illustrations I did for Korea’s Quest. Includes commentary.

New Illustrations (not featured in the stories)

Russia’s armor is a fusion of Nicholas II’s uniform and a piece of gear from Final Fantasy XIV. I know that I usually draw her with platinum blonde hair, but I thought she’d look nice with dark hair for a change.

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[Pt. 2] Korea’s Quest

My adventure’s only just begun but already I have to face the most wretched monster in all the land!

(Read the first chapter of Korea’s Quest here.)

Ever since I could remember, there’s been a fire in my heart. It burned with joy, with hate, with love, and so often, now, it burns with a longing for retribution. It told me to keep fighting when I wanted to give up, to keep believing when I felt hopeless. And all my life, that flame has been pulling me toward my destiny.

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Japan’s Hell

Why do you have to be late, America?

Leaving the house is a nightmare for me so I only do it out of necessity. This morning I’m meeting America at this cafe but he’s late and I’m early. Well, it won’t hurt to order a drink while I wait. Maybe if I have enough caffeine I will astral project, escaping both this world and my social anxiety.

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