Can you guess who wrote which one?
(It’s painfully easy.)
Chill guy, super powerful, crazy rich, really hot, great sense of humor. Ordering pizza after sex is mandatory. Preference: anything that moves. If you curvy that’s all good; big is beautiful. I’ll be more attracted to you if you blindly agree with me and support everything I do even when I’m wrong.
You think you’re worthy to breathe the same air I breathe? You insignificant beast. Love me. Praise me. Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me. You’re less than dirt. Pathetic, pitiful, powerless. Tell me how much you want me, pig. You’re just the jackal howling at my door. My love is a gift you are not worthy to receive. I grant you mercy because I take pity on creatures of lesser intellect, beauty, and purity. Perish, worm.
North Korea detests that name, both in fiction and reality. The country (and its people) will always use the official name, DPRK. You may also hear DPR Korea. Calling the country “North Korea” is disrespectful and imperialist. That’s why everyone calls him–to his face, at least–Korea. If you don’t, he will scream at you.
The MAGA Chronicles is a new series that takes you on a journey with Trump’s America, where narcissism and depravity know no bounds.
I never wanted to hurt my sister, but the monster must die.
My hurried footsteps echo against the walls of the bare corridor in time with my heartbeat. Lights flicker overhead. An alarm wails in the distance, but I’m not afraid of what’s coming. Having made love to many, many beautiful countries just before arriving here, all at once, I’m invigorated–and out for blood.
Australia hollered back at the birds. “Come and get it, ya brainless devils!” She turned to Canada. “Can’t even fly, the whackas!”
Canada clung to the Jeep for dear life as her stomach did flips and turns. Tires kicked up hot, orange dirt as they tore through the outback. A mob of emu chased behind them like wolves gunning for fresh meat. The driver gripped the wheel with one hand while the other waved wildly out the side of the car. Continue reading “Canada and Australia’s Day of Fun (and Suffering)”
Turns out, the Abominable American wasn’t that hard to outrun. He was pretty slow due to his size, and also kind of lazy. He gave up chase five minutes in, after which he retreated to his lair to partake in material sin and filthiness.