World Christmas Wishlists

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. Like Canada, who wants Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar and a better brother.

wishlist2
“Is that a new cologne?”
“Please don’t sniff me.”

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. I’ve intercepted their letters to Santa and put together for you a list of their deepest desires this Xmas.

America

  • A way to just completely erase 2016
  • Cosmetics to remove orange hue from skin
  • Every single model of NERF gun that has been sold since 2001
4712116438_32753ea52f_b
Hell yeah. Photo by Adam Greig

Russia

  • Ukraine
  • Lithuania
  • Estonia
  • Latvia
  • Bulgaria

Japan

  • The ability to feel human emotion again

Switzerland

  • Baby lotion
  • Thick rope
  • Scented candles
  • CD where the only song is Careless Whispers repeated 16 times
  • Armoured Trains: An Illustrated Encyclopedia 1825-2016
8511150761_84859e1644_o.jpg
Mmnnn.
Photo by Carnivore Locavore

North Korea

  • MacBook Pro
  • Light-up sneakers
  • Enriched uranium
  • Missiles that actually launch
  • Coping with Psychological Trauma For Dummies

South Korea

  • Political stability
  • $100 worth of Loot Boxes
  • 20 cats

China

  • The South China Sea
  • The East China Sea
  • Taiwan
  • Vicodin
  • A friend
3964596491_afc04c21e3_b.jpg
A nutritious breakfast.
Photo by Eric Norris

Canada

  • Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar
  • Sidney Crosby jersey from rookie year
  • Fuller House Season 1
  • Scarves for polar bears
  • A better brother

Australia

  • Espresso machine
  • 3rd pet emu
  • Snow
  • A spaceship to colonize the moon!!!

The United Kingdom

  • Independence, for Scotland
  • Henry VIII’s Horcrux, for Wales
  • Framed, glossy .jpegs of Ringo Starr’s artwork circa 2005, for England
  • Help, for Nothern Ireland
yer-baby
“Yer Baby” by Ringo Starr
You can buy it for $3,800 at his website

India

  • Adult coloring books
  • Bath bombs
  • Gift card to Louis Vuitton
  • Harry Potter Illustrated Boxset
  • Uncontested control of Kashmir

What’s on your Christmas list this year?


Thank you  http://helgatisha.tumblr.com/ for the references I used for the header image.

Author: Allison Black

Allison is an author, nerd, and international relations major who loves bad political jokes. When she's not writing or gushing about global affairs, she's playing video games. One day she will have a Ph.D., speak Korean fluently, and command an army of chihuahuas.

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