World Christmas Wishlists

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. Like Canada, who wants Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar and a better brother.

wishlist2
“Is that a new cologne?”
“Please don’t sniff me.”

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. I’ve intercepted their letters to Santa and put together for you a list of their deepest desires this Xmas.

America

  • A way to just completely erase 2016
  • Cosmetics to remove orange hue from skin
  • Every single model of NERF gun that has been sold since 2001
4712116438_32753ea52f_b
Hell yeah. Photo by Adam Greig

Russia

  • Ukraine
  • Lithuania
  • Estonia
  • Latvia
  • Bulgaria

Japan

  • The ability to feel human emotion again

Switzerland

  • Baby lotion
  • Thick rope
  • Scented candles
  • CD where the only song is Careless Whispers repeated 16 times
  • Armoured Trains: An Illustrated Encyclopedia 1825-2016
8511150761_84859e1644_o.jpg
Mmnnn.
Photo by Carnivore Locavore

North Korea

  • MacBook Pro
  • Light-up sneakers
  • Enriched uranium
  • Missiles that actually launch
  • Coping with Psychological Trauma For Dummies

South Korea

  • Political stability
  • $100 worth of Loot Boxes
  • 20 cats

China

  • The South China Sea
  • The East China Sea
  • Taiwan
  • Vicodin
  • A friend
3964596491_afc04c21e3_b.jpg
A nutritious breakfast.
Photo by Eric Norris

Canada

  • Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar
  • Sidney Crosby jersey from rookie year
  • Fuller House Season 1
  • Scarves for polar bears
  • A better brother

Australia

  • Espresso machine
  • 3rd pet emu
  • Snow
  • A spaceship to colonize the moon!!!

The United Kingdom

  • Independence, for Scotland
  • Henry VIII’s Horcrux, for Wales
  • Framed, glossy .jpegs of Ringo Starr’s artwork circa 2005, for England
  • Help, for Nothern Ireland
yer-baby
“Yer Baby” by Ringo Starr
You can buy it for $3,800 at his website

India

  • Adult coloring books
  • Bath bombs
  • Gift card to Louis Vuitton
  • Harry Potter Illustrated Boxset
  • Uncontested control of Kashmir

What’s on your Christmas list this year?


Thank you  http://helgatisha.tumblr.com/ for the references I used for the header image.

Author: Allison Black

Allison is an author, nerd, and international relations major who does not get paid to make bad political jokes--yet. When she's not writing or gushing about global affairs, she's playing video games. One day she will have a Ph.D., speak Korean fluently, and command an army of chihuahuas.

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