World Christmas Wishlists

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. Like Canada, who wants Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar and a better brother.

“Is that a new cologne?”
“Please don’t sniff me.”

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. I’ve intercepted their letters to Santa and put together for you a list of their deepest desires this Xmas.


  • A way to just completely erase 2016
  • Cosmetics to remove orange hue from skin
  • Every single model of NERF gun that has been sold since 2001
Hell yeah. Photo by Adam Greig


  • Ukraine
  • Lithuania
  • Estonia
  • Latvia
  • Bulgaria


  • The ability to feel human emotion again


  • Baby lotion
  • Thick rope
  • Scented candles
  • CD where the only song is Careless Whispers repeated 16 times
  • Armoured Trains: An Illustrated Encyclopedia 1825-2016
Photo by Carnivore Locavore

North Korea

  • MacBook Pro
  • Light-up sneakers
  • Enriched uranium
  • Missiles that actually launch
  • Coping with Psychological Trauma For Dummies

South Korea

  • Political stability
  • $100 worth of Loot Boxes
  • 20 cats


  • The South China Sea
  • The East China Sea
  • Taiwan
  • Vicodin
  • A friend
A nutritious breakfast.
Photo by Eric Norris


  • Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar
  • Sidney Crosby jersey from rookie year
  • Fuller House Season 1
  • Scarves for polar bears
  • A better brother


  • Espresso machine
  • 3rd pet emu
  • Snow
  • A spaceship to colonize the moon!!!

The United Kingdom

  • Independence, for Scotland
  • Henry VIII’s Horcrux, for Wales
  • Framed, glossy .jpegs of Ringo Starr’s artwork circa 2005, for England
  • Help, for Nothern Ireland
“Yer Baby” by Ringo Starr
You can buy it for $3,800 at his website


  • Adult coloring books
  • Bath bombs
  • Gift card to Louis Vuitton
  • Harry Potter Illustrated Boxset
  • Uncontested control of Kashmir

What’s on your Christmas list this year?

Thank you for the references I used for the header image.

Author: Allison Black

Allison is an author, nerd, and international relations major who loves bad political jokes. When she's not writing or gushing about global affairs, she's playing video games. One day she will have a Ph.D., speak Korean fluently, and command an army of chihuahuas.

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