There’s a difference between friends and enemies but sometimes friends suck more

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After a Six-Party talk and on the way to his car, America spotted North Korea with the saddest look on his face sitting alone on one of the benches outside. America didn’t think anything of it because North Korea was always alone and always sad, but then something happened.

“America?”

The superpower froze when he thought he heard the Korean call, rather than shout or yell, his name. But that couldn’t have been right, right?

“America?” Said the weak voice, but this time just a little less weakly.

Red alert: This was real.

Carefully, America turned to his self-proclaimed archnemesis and gave him a half-weary smile. “What’s up?”

“Do you have a moment?” When America didn’t immediately answer, the Korean’s already sour mood worsened. “The tyrannical evils you carry out around the world can wait, can’t they?”

“Uhhh, yeah. Sure.”

And there they were, sitting together on a small bench under a gray sky.

North Korea refused to look at America, which wasn’t a surprise. The question to come from his lips, however, was.

“Do you hate China?”

America had to blink. “Do I  hate China? It’s, uh, it’s not that simple. He can be a real asshole sometimes—most of the time—but he’s not all bad. When it comes down to it, being his friend is a lot better for me than being his enemy. Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet. Politics, you know?”

“I do know.” There was a pause. Hesitation. “I have to depend on him even though it goes against almost everything I stand for. I hate how trapped it makes me feel. I hate him.” North Korea stared at the sidewalk as a mix of anger and pain crossed his face. “He was supposed to be someone I could trust. Now, he doesn’t even respect me.”

America learned in. “Have you ever thought about seeing Switzerland? He’s really good at, like, couples counseling and stuff. He helped Austria and Hungary through their break up.”

North Korea furrowed his brow and gave a frustrated sigh. “Alright. I’m done opening up to you. I’m going back to violently hating you now, okay?”

“Okay, sounds good.”


Notes

Inspired by this article highlighting the disdain the North Korea and the Chinese governments have for each other despite their historically close relationship. We all go through rough patches with our friends/lovers/relatives–you name it. Consider modern international relations as China and North Korea’s “falling out.”

One of the most interesting parts of the article is that is claims North Korea experts think North Korea would actually prefer a normalized relationship with the United States to their current relationship with China. Interesting, right?

Author: Allison Black

Allison is an author, nerd, and international relations major who loves bad political jokes. When she's not writing or gushing about global affairs, she's playing video games. One day she will have a Ph.D., speak Korean fluently, and command an army of chihuahuas.

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