Bilateral: Age

North Korea wasn’t sure how China got injured. He just knew that when he first spotted him at the military base where they were meeting, China was on the ground.

“China?” North Korea called out, cautious at first to approach such a suspicious situation. When all he got was a groan in return, he ran over to his fallen comrade. “China! What happened? Did the United States do this to you?”

China, whose face had been more or less planted in the ground, looked up to squint at North Korea. “Why would he have anything to do with this?”

“That bastard!”

“No,  I actually–” China was cut off by a sharp pain shooting through his hip. He gave up and brought a hand to his aching body. “It doesn’t matter.”

North Korea gasped. “China, when old people break their hip, they die.”

“I’m not old.”

This got a surprising chuckle out of his serious friend.

“You’re at least…” Then North Korea paused a moment, eyes glancing up in thought, “…57 times older than I am. That’s so old–”

Stop.”

Then North Korea dropped down to his knees and let the upper half of his body fall forward, sort of as if he were bowing while hardcore begging for forgiveness. “What if you do really die? What am I going to do? Who’s going to give me all the foreign aid I need?” The Korean was becoming increasingly more panicked and filled with mental anguish. “Ahhh, the aid! The aid, China! If you die, I’ll die!”

China made the mistake of trying to get up again. “Neither of us are dyi—mnnn dammit!” So of course, he fell back down and decided to just lie there next to his semi-wailing neighbor.

They remained like that for at least another twenty minutes before he finally yelled at North Korea to help him up. It was quite the sight.

 

Author: sarahbruso

International relations major, certified nerd, and suffering writer. I dig humor, video games, and global politics.

8 thoughts on “Bilateral: Age”

  1. Hi there,
    Thanks for making me smile over my morning coffee!
    Would it be okay if I shared this post on my Facebook page, which is dedicated to promoting the book “Kim Jong-un – The Super Secret Diary of a Young Dictator”, which in tone bears resemblance to this post and your work on this site in general?
    For more info on the book, please visit http://www.amazon.com/Kim-Jong-un-Super-Secret-Dictator-ebook/dp/B01ADKQS02.
    Please let me know if it is okay to share this post on Facebook in aid of promoting Kim Jong-un’s fictional diary.
    Best regards and keep up the good work here.

    P.S.
    “Some parts of Europe expressed concern over the issue, but in the end they just began arguing about their own problems.”
    Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there! First of all, thank you for the kind words and wonderful opportunity. It’s always nice to meet a fellow writer, especially one who works in a similar niche. I’d love it if you shared my posts, and I wish you luck in promoting your book–which I’m seriously tempted to buy because it looks so fun. And if I do love it, I’d be happy to return the favor.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi, thanks for getting back to me so quickly! I will share this post on my Facebook page sometime today. On the Amazon sales page you can find a preview of the first 50 pages or so (by clicking on the cover). That will give you an impression on what to expect.
        If you decide to read it, feedback of any kind is most welcome, as it helps me get in touch with my book’s audience.
        Assuming you’re okay with it, I’d like to periodically share posts from your site on my page, as I’m sure my readers will appreciate it a lot!
        Thanks again and have a wonderful day,
        Lennard

        Like

      2. It’s really cool of you to want to share my work, and I’m definitely (more than) okay with it. Is it obvious I don’t get a lot of action?
        Two pages into Kim’s diary and I’m already smiling. I can tell this is gonna be a good read 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Haha, thanks, I needed that. I got my first Amazon review today and it was a 1 star (though I’m pretty sure whoever wrote it is on Kim Jong-un’s payroll. Yes, I know how paranoid that sounds).
        Either way, I’m very happy the first two pages made you smile. The fun really kicks off when Dennis Rodman enters the scene, though;)

        To be frank, my goal with this book is to send a message to as many people as possible: ‘Freedom is not the enemy, fear is not your friend, love is all you need.’ It’s a message I think applies to Kim Jong-un as much as it does to you and me. That’s why I feel it’s important this book reaches many people and why I started talking about it to total strangers such as you. I feel the stories on your website convey a similar sentiment and I would be very happy to continue sharing your work, in hopes of reaching as many people as possible.
        Thanks again.

        Like

      4. And please do go on letting idiots know what kind of idiots they are…there’s a point in my book where Kim Jong-un starts drawing Mohammed cartoons…I actually thought of you when I wrote that;)

        Like

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