Political Debrief no. 2

Tired of reading about politics? The ironically named Political Debrief brings you a different kind of news: countries doing things that are totally and completely human.

This week around the world:

– France had a minor existential crisis when he realized that the artwork in his home doesn’t awe him the way it did two hundred years ago.

– China began stockpiling headache medicine and herbal remedies. When Singapore asked why, she was told to “look at a map.”

– The United States and Canada had a heated argument about whether or not peanut butter should be refrigerated. Though the argument ended in a draw, both swear they’re the winner. (This was not dissimilar to their bagged milk argument from last month.)

peanut butter in fridge

– Mexico invested in a brand new pair of binoculars. They’re really nice binoculars.

– On Friday night Russia’s scarf got caught in a door and she tried to play it off, but Belarus’s cackling made it clear she hadn’t succeeded.

–  New Zealand’s Kiwi gave birth on Wednesday, but he is refusing to give Australia one of the babies until the Rugby World Cup is over.

kiwi bird

– North Korea finally sat down and tried to give the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album a listen. He had to stop three songs in, however, because the music was too hedonistic and embodied everything wrong with a free, capitalist society.

–  Switzerland has officially announced that he is holding a funeral for his desire to give a shit. It is, he says, long overdue.

– Japan considered decorating or painting her WiiU as a metaphorical way of masking her disappoint in it.

WiiU

1. Photo by volgar CC BY SA 2.0
2. Photo from Wikimedia Commons
3. Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Check out this post’s Behind the Scenes to catch all the historical and political references.

Author: Allison Black

Allison is an author, nerd, and international relations major who loves bad political jokes. When she's not writing or gushing about global affairs, she's playing video games. One day she will have a Ph.D., speak Korean fluently, and command an army of chihuahuas.

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