This week around the world:
– The Nordic countries started their own heavy metal band. While they can’t decide on a name, they have told Finland that Weeping Swans of Eternal Carnage won’t work, probably because swans aren’t evil enough.
– The United States of America watched Sharknado 3 and mildly regretted his life choices.
– A kitchen fire Wednesday evening stirred up trouble in the United Kingdom. Scotland and England argued who was responsible while the stove immolated to death. Wales offered to pick up take-away, but found it difficult to hear the others tell her what they wanted over the fire alarm. Northern Ireland returned home only to be disappointed as usual.
– Australia admitted that even she has no idea what she’s saying sometimes.
– India spent thirty minutes looking for his glasses, only to realize they were on his head the whole time. Switzerland assured him that it “happens to the best of us.”
– In an amazing turn of events, Brazil beat South Korea at a real-time strategy game. The latter blamed it on “the lag.”
– Israel killed a really big spider and felt like a badass, but the triumph was quickly ended by that ‘omg it’s crawling on me’ feeling that haunted her for the next two hours.
– Egypt was caught dancing to Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off. He insisted that it “wasn’t what it looks like,” which confirmed that it was exactly what it looked like.
– On Tuesday, North Korea came into contact with a United States flag. He claims he still can’t feel his face. Where he got the flag, we don’t know.
– South Africa was put on the spot yesterday when a friend asked her what gift she’d gotten Kenya’s dog for the birthday party she had no idea it was having.
Stay tuned for another enthralling wrap up next Saturday.
Image 1: Photo by statefarm (CC BY 2.0)
Image 2: Photo by celineo (CC BY 2.0)
Image 3: Photo by alsen (CC0 Public Domain)