Political Debrief no. 1

Tired of reading news about politics? Political Debrief brings you a different kind of news: countries doing things that are totally and completely human. Fun pictures included.

This week around the world:

– The Nordic countries started their own heavy metal band. While they can’t decide on a name, they have told Finland that Weeping Swans of Eternal Carnage won’t work, probably because swans aren’t evil enough.

– The United States of America watched Sharknado 3 and mildly regretted his life choices.

– A kitchen fire Wednesday evening stirred up trouble in the United Kingdom. Scotland and England argued who was responsible while the stove immolated to death. Wales offered to pick up take-away, but found it difficult to hear the others tell her what they wanted over the fire alarm. Northern Ireland returned home only to be disappointed as usual.

pan on stove catches fire

– Australia admitted that even she has no idea what she’s saying sometimes.

– India spent thirty minutes looking for his glasses, only to realize they were on his head the whole time. Switzerland assured him that it “happens to the best of us.”

– In an amazing turn of events, Brazil beat South Korea at a real-time strategy game. The latter blamed it on “the lag.”

– Israel killed a really big spider and felt like a badass, but the triumph was quickly ended by that ‘omg it’s crawling on me’ feeling that haunted her for the next two hours.

1-2

– Egypt was caught dancing to Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off. He insisted that it “wasn’t what it looks like,” which confirmed that it was exactly what it looked like.

– On Tuesday, North Korea came into contact with a United States flag. He claims he still can’t feel his face. Where he got the flag, we don’t know.

– South Africa was put on the spot yesterday when a friend asked her what gift she’d gotten Kenya’s dog for the birthday party she had no idea it was having.

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Stay tuned for another enthralling wrap up next Saturday.

Image 1: Photo by statefarm (CC BY 2.0)

Image 2: Photo by celineo (CC BY 2.0)

Image 3: Photo by alsen (CC0 Public Domain)

Author: Allison Black

Allison is an author, nerd, and international relations major who does not get paid to make bad political jokes--yet. When she's not writing or gushing about global affairs, she's playing video games. One day she will have a Ph.D., speak Korean fluently, and command an army of chihuahuas.

12 thoughts on “Political Debrief no. 1”

      1. No–you can say ‘it’, for all countries, which is the preferred current usage, rather than him or her. But if using one of these, India is always, always, her, ‘the motherland’. Also what are you referring to?

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      2. Thank you for the feedback. Maybe I should clarify that ‘India’ here is referring to a fictional character, not the actual country. The fictional character here just happens to be male. I apologize for the confusion!
        To answer your question, I am not referring to anything–except how bothersome glasses can be (I’ve “lost” mine too many times to count). This post was not meant to be a political jab at anyone. I changed some of the language on my blog and in the post, so hopefully my intentions are much clearer. Honestly, the last thing I want to do is upset people. If there’s more you’d like to talk about, I’d be happy to over email.

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      3. no, not upset–I just thought you were making allusions to actual events–otherwise why use the names of real countries? Anyway, thanks for the clarification.

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