“This article says that one in every twenty-five Americans has no conscience and can do whatever they want without experiencing guilt.”

“Listen to this,” China said, tapping his tablet a few times. “This article says that one in every twenty-five Americans has no conscience and can do whatever they want without experiencing guilt.”

“The animals,” North Korea spat. “No wonder they run around the streets slaughtering each other like it’s a sport.”

“What do you think, Korea? Do you have a conscience?”

“Of course I do,” he growled. “I’ve just never had to make use of it. One doesn’t need to feel guilty if one never does anything wrong.”

“Right, of course.”

North Korea carried on, not quite finished yet. “But I am sympathetic, maybe too much for my own good. Even you must understand that there’s a difference between guilt and pity.” He paused. “Well, what about you? No, don’t answer. I already know that you don’t have one. A conscience requires many things you so evidently lack: heart, soul, kindness, empathy–do you want me to go on? I can and I will.”

“But I have all of those things,” China said with an even tone.

North Korea lifted his nose and narrowed his eyes. “I hope you realize how scientifically flawed it is to insist that something exists without being able to prove it.”

“Should I or should I not go to your party?” China ventured.

North Korea hissed. “Fine, ruin the mood!” He scurried to the door, then stopped and turned back. “Listen, I don’t care what you do, and you know that I don’t. But you should come.” Those dark, spiteful eyes narrowed again. “For your sake.”


Photo by Hans via Pixabay

I wrote this on a whim after glancing at a book in the bookstore and since I had no intention of writing this until that very moment I also lacked the mental energy to draw something. I typed “conscience” into Pixabay and that’s the first thing I go so I said okay I’ll take it. It’s off brand but I am a lazy person.


I had this idea in my head for ages, like ever since I first heard this Beyonce song. 👌😩💦💦💦

But then I thought maybe I should do more than just post a picture. Like, maybe talk about something important.

First, a disclaimer. I have no love for Putin and I never will, but I do love Russia and I do love my character. She has never represented Putin, but rather, the dynamic ruling body of Russia throughout all of history. So if and when I talk fondly of Russia, don’t think it’s because I support the policies of the current leader.

Now, feminity.

Russia is by no means a perfect feminist; You could even argue that the lyrics I’ve quoted are inherently misogynistic. Even so, it was always important to me to portray Russia as this ultra-strong being whose feminity is core to her identity. That is, she doesn’t denounce feminity for the sake of strength. To her, the two are not contradictions.

Continue reading “Flawless”

Russia Stole My Girlfriend

Japan’s wristlet purse rattled all the way to the coffee bar.

“Double shot, please,” she told the machine.

It whirred to life and soon a steaming shot of bean water was filling a mug.

She fetched a pill pouch from her purse. It had to be holding at least a dozen different pills in all shapes and sizes–capsules, tablets, slick, some small and round, and others quite enormous and shiny.

She dumped the pills into her hand, popped them into her mouth, tossed back the scalding hot espresso and swallowed it all in one big gulp.

Continue reading “Russia Stole My Girlfriend”

Sticks & Carrots

For a while, I’ve wanted to write stories that would play out, at least in one’s head, like a kind of sketch comedy where the “skits” are akin to single-shot gags. I guess technically those are called vignettes. The other caveat: it’s centered entirely around things (both real and made up) that happen at/in the United Nations.

I’m labeling these posts under the series Sticks & Carrots, but these may be the only kind of thing I do for a while here. That’s because I’m going back to school, am still trying to write a book, and will be attempting smaller writing projects over here. Thoughts and prayers, please.

The first “episode” posts next week. As always, thanks for stickin’ with me through these 4 years of nonsense. I love you all.

P.S. I hope you guys like the homoerotic rabbit!America I spent 10 minutes drawing.

New blog: Short stories, flash fiction, and other prose

In an effort to establish myself as a writer and appeal to a wider audience, I created a space where I’ll be writing non-P&P things.

Say hello to my latest blog: but a dream.

If you like my writing but wouldn’t mind a change of scenery, please check it out! It’s new, but I’ve got a handful of stories up there already and have been posting regularly.

Thanks for your love and support. Hope you enjoy.

Trevor Noah and the Bullshit Concept of Offensive Comedy

The myth that comedy will inevitably be offensive.

I just recovered from a near-fatal bout of sickness brought on by what I believe to have been over-buttered mac n’ cheese and I’m writing this on a whim, so bear with me.

If you haven’t heard, it recently came to light that a prominent comedian made a joke at the expense of Aboriginal women and amidst the backlash defend it by saying that he never meant to cause offense. Oh, well that makes it better–because, after all, comedy will always be offensive to someone, right?


Continue reading “Trevor Noah and the Bullshit Concept of Offensive Comedy”